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I don’t think that’s how it goes…

We are driving down the road and I am listening to hip hop-y crap music because it is energetic! And I want a nap! But it eventually gets to be too much, so I change the station. From the back seat Kian shouts, “NO! Turn it back! I love that song!”

…

So I turn it back and he starts singing along. Incomprehensibly. So finally I turn it down and I ask him, “How does it go? What does the song say?”

“Hermio! Hermio! You know, like Hermie the Caterpillar in my Christmas movie.”

Well of COURSE! Just so y’all know, it is:

http://www.amazon.com/Hermie-Friends-Fruitcake-Don-Knotts/dp/B000AP31N8 Hermio Hermio!

NOT

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WLTI2rWAlV4 Turn Me On, Turn Me On (I don’t promise that this song is not dirty. In fact, it probably is.)

So Max Lucado and Dave Guetta/Nicki Minaj take note! You collaborated and you did not even know it. Won’t they all be thrilled.

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Kisses and Butterflies

Two stories from today!

First, he was watching some Garfield movie, and at the end Garfield kisses his girlfriend cat. I caught just a glimpse of that part but didn’t think much of it. A few minutes later, Kian is awkward and squirmy.

K: That show was really weird, mommy. Really weird! *squirm squirm*

Me: Oh yeah? What was weird about it?

K: I don’t want to talk about it. *hides face*

Me: Um. OK, well maybe you should tell me about it. You can talk to me about anything.

K: Well there were good guys and a bad guy, and they fought the bad guy and they beat him *ramble ramble* And then he KISSED THE GIRL! But I don’t want to talk about it.

Awww, poor shy guy!It was very cute though. Such a boy, right?

Well, except that a few minutes later we are looking for a movie on Netflix and he gets all excited.

K: That one looks good!

Me: Oh, this one with the rocket ship?

K: No no! That one with the butterfly!

Me: OK, Strawberry Shortcake it is.

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Kisses

Today Kian was very snuggly, missing dad all day.

At one point he gave me a big kiss and I said, “I need to get LOTS of kisses, because in a few days we will be with Grammy Tina and she will steal them all!”

Kian thought about it and then said, “I will give her MOST of them, but I will take some and hide them in my underwear! She will never think to look there. Then I will take them out and give them to you!

Me: … *nosewrinkle*

Kian: Don’t worry, mom, I will wash them off in the sink and they will be mostly clean!

Greaaaat. Where does he come up with this stuff?

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Mosquitos

K: Are there mosquitos outside? It is dark out now.

M: Oh, probably.

K: I don’t want to go outside then. Because they will suck out all my blood. And if I don’t have any blood I won’t be able to move. I will be like this (demonstrates – frozen – face squinched up, hands up) like a statue. And then *rambles on for like 3 minutes*

Five minutes later

K:But mosquitos don’t drink /all/ your blood do they? I think they would explode.

M: You are so smart! Let’s play trucks instead, K?

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Halloween Edition

Kian was Superman for Halloween. It involved a lot of hilarity.

Don’t worry mommy, I will protect you because I am Superman! If you see something too scary, you just tell me and I will punch it RIGHT IN THE FACE!

Oh, well I guess that one wasn’t so scary after all. (after all? really?)

And then everyone will see me and they won’t know I am Kian! They will say, “Wow, there is Superman!”

and then, when people did,

“See! I told you they knowed I was Superman.”

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Brains!

K: It is gross to eat brains, right?
Me: … Well yeah, I guess it is. Who is eating brains?
K: Well, zombies (duh). And maybe me. But I think eating brains is gross.
Me: Yeah, eating brains is gross.
K: That is why I am going to keep mine inside my head. You keep yours inside your head too. That way I won’t be temped (no t) to eat them.
Me: Good deal, kiddo!

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Because Parents Are Always Right

My mom has been saying that I should write a book about my son for years now. Today she mentioned it again, and suggested a blog as a possible alternative, and since my dad has also made this suggestion on more than one occasion, I’m caving.

I am not sure what all this blog will be. I do know that having a better way to remember all the hilarious things Kian says as he grows is a good idea. Right now I use Facebook a lot, but that’s not very searchable or archive-able or anything. I might do some ‘looking back’ posts to try and snag some older things. I might end up talking about work, or laundry, or goodness knows what. But for now, here we are.

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Past Kianism Roundup: October 2011

10/14/11: K: When you’re walking on the tile, don’t step on the diamonds or you’ll get punched in the face! It’s a booby trap. (Said with a demonstration of punching in the face. Swing – flail – OOF!)

10/7/11 Me: “Do you want oatmeal for breakfast?”
K: “Grammy gave me oit…oit… oitmeal when she here! Yay!
…
Oh no, now I /miss/ her.”
Then he goes to pout on the couch.